Tuesday

Review: Snow

This is a well-known excuse to do normally unacceptable things like throwing rocks at strangers and making idolatrous representations of fat white men. The only people who truly love snow are film makers, because then you can have really boring shots of a tiny black speck moving slowly across a completely white screen, a prospect which makes the palms of film makers inexplicably clammy.

Snow is rain, only freezing: a rain worse than rain. The general obsession with snow and snow-covered rooftops and playing in snow shows that ours is a society completely rancid with sentimentality.

Snow: Hitler loved animals. 2 out of 10.

1 Comments:

At 11:54 am, Anonymous King Cnut said...

Hitler, indeed, loved animals. Hitler was a vegetarian. Hitler was an intravenous amphetamine addict. Hitler, for all I know, was Belle and Sebastian in a former life. None of these facts (or in the case of the last, potential if perhaps somewhat improbable fact) have any bearing on snow, which is great. Skiing is great, sledging is great, hurling snowballs at one's father even when one is a fully-grown man is particularly great. Great great great. I'm afraid I'm just going to have to override you here; snow gets a solid 7.5 out of 10, second only to Glorious Cloudless Sunshine at 9.5 (denied a perfect mark solely by my tendency to burn. Damn my fair complexion). I am Right; you are Wrong. Sorry.

 

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