Friday

Review: Doing nothing

I cannot recommend this highly enough. For the most part, the hobby of doing nothing died out when we began to move from useful jobs (hunting, gathering, farming, killing) to useless jobs (copywriting, web design, soft furnishings).

Doing nothing doesn’t cost anything, it doesn’t require any skill, it doesn’t hurt anything – unless you count the damage to the environment caused by having the central heating on. I am extremely good at doing absolutely nothing at all and can happily spend hours staring merrily into space, with occasional breaks to try on lipstick or attempt to put my toes in my mouth. It disappoints me that people frown upon this kind of behaviour and say things like, “Have you left the house at all today?” as if having left the house would make me a more worthwhile or more interesting person. What is there outside the house, anyway? Nothing. February.

If you look at lions or wolves, they spend the minimum time finding something to eat, often stealing from cheetahs in order to avoid having to hunt for themselves, gorge themselves on meat, then sleep and fuck and wander around their habitat looking at trees for hours on end. This is the kind of lifestyle that the Sunday supplements should be encouraging, instead of things like going to the theatre.

Doing nothing: The only drawback is the guilt. 8 out of 10.

6 Comments:

At 10:35 pm, Blogger Manda said...

I am so jealous. I wish I could just have 10 min. a day of peace and quiet all to myself...

 
At 12:30 am, Anonymous vague said...

Me, I'd give it a 9. It can become an ethos all to itself, you know.

 
At 12:58 pm, Anonymous eskimo said...

doing nothing as an ethos rather than as a hobby has a different name, and that name is "studying english literature". of course, all forms of doing nothing are valuable.

 
At 3:31 pm, Blogger john b said...

"The best thing to do is nothing, but they won't let you" - Christopher Robin

 
At 12:55 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You might consider reading The Idler. And I'd give it a 10. Or maybe a 9 - doing nothing at home is relaxing, doing nothing on a transatlantic flight is just dull.

 
At 10:38 am, Anonymous eskimo said...

anonymous, are you matthew?

 

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