Review: Being tall

All right apart from the big feet, really. Also, very beautiful men tend to have short, stumpy legs. I pointed this out to a friend once, who countered that all men have comparatively short, stumpy legs. “It’s just that you’re only looking at the fit ones.”

This is not true, and I will now tell you why. Very beautiful men are unnatural, evolutionarily unnecessary abominations and the only reason I might be looking at them is to get a better run-up for recoiling in horror.

My brother once went out with a girl who was over six foot tall, and when she came round to the house I would do my hair in pigtails because I felt so short.

Being tall: 8 out of 10.


At 4:46 pm, Anonymous claire said...

oh i disagree that tallness automatically means big feet. i'm 5'9 and have size 5 feet which, i am told, are a bog standard size.

being tall also means you don't have to wear heels which is definitely good.

At 6:00 pm, Anonymous eskimo said...

argh but if you have size 5 feet you could buy MILLIONS of pairs of high heels. such a waste. also, attractiveness of high heels isn't related to tallness but to how they make it hard to run properly, which apparently men find attractive. i read this in cosmo.

At 11:46 am, Blogger Shelly said...

(by the way...this is Cheryl's sister)

In any case, I too am of Amazonian stature. But a mere inch shorter than my dear younger sis. Fortunately, I also have slightly smaller feet. I've always felt a bit sorry for her trying to find shoes.

At 12:52 pm, Anonymous claire said...

really? the sickos! this brings back painful memories of reading "wild swans".

At 3:43 pm, Anonymous eskimo said...

ha. hello cheryls sister. i can't see what shoes cheryl is wearing today as she has cunningly stashed her feet under her desk. but will report back asap.

At 10:30 am, Blogger Briony said...

Nothing wrong with big feet, means we're less likely to fall over if shot. My only issue with being tall is that people get jealous, and always say "gosh, aren't you tall," or "what's the weather like up there? fnar fnar." But if WE comment on their midget-like proportions we are told, "that's SO rude and insensitive... you'll go straight to hell for that." ALSO shorties don't realise that being tall automatically makes us a larger clothes size, so have to suffer in silence when they shreak, "I've gone up to a size 8!!!" It is also very easy to weigh over 60kg and not be on the fast-track to obesity, but we can't tell shorties our weight because they wouldn't understand and would gape in horror at our hippo statistics.

At 12:25 pm, Blogger This Space for Rent said...

I have size 8 feet but am not very tall. So strong hobbit identification.

At 3:33 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My girlfriend is 6ft 2" size 10 and takes a size 5 shoe. She is the most beautifull person in the world. But often suffer from the "jelaous" comments from people descibed below. (Wow how tall are you?, Whats the weather like etc) Usually from idiot guys! Who feel inadiqute.

At 1:33 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

has anyone noticed that you dont see a lot of really tall old people, do tall people die younger than short people or do they just shrink or go into hiding when they reach a certain age?

At 8:48 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am 5ft 7'' which is very tall in India (atleast in the region i live). I am happy about my height though i hear comments by some short guys (not even 5.5 ft). The only thing i am worried about is finding sandals for my size. It is 8.

At 8:12 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hmm i dont think 5 ft 7 is that tall lol,the average man height is about 6 ft 2 i'm only 13 but i'm 5 ft 6 n a shoe size 9 i'm pretty tall for my age but in my grade theres 13 year olds who r 5 ft 11 and shoe size 11 so i think big feet really do mean u will be tall

At 3:06 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am 13 yrs old and am 5ft10 I am Indian and am loving my height. I have size 11 shoes. I am a model so I don't have difficulties finding shoes. I find it a great asset to be different especially when you are different from others in you culture. Most Indians who are short come up to me and say I am blessed. I don't see any problems in being tall.

At 3:28 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i am 5'9" like claire(the first poster). I am 17 and wear a size 8.5 shoe. Statistically for my height my feet are still relatively small. I am still growing though. I got the tall gene which skips a generation from my dads side. he is short (at 5'6") but hismom is 5'10" and sister 5'11" and one of my cousins in 6' even. I am taller than everyone on my moms side but closing in on my dads side. it may sound weird but i wouldn't mind being a little taller :) i love my height

At 8:13 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm 5 10'ish and i'm 16 and after reading all of your comments it makes me feel actually alot better, i've been taunted and made fun of since i can remember for being tall. At my school all the boys make stupid comments and i used to show how upset i'd get but now i cover it up, it would be nice to hear how other tall people handle it since everyone i know makes it seem like a disability especially the boys. and to add my dad is 6 3' and 280 pounds so if a boy gets the guts to deal with me their to scared to come near my dad, anybody delt with these problems? =/

At 2:47 pm, Blogger pretty_ash_pink said...

Hey name is 20 nd am 6foot nd some inches..I hate been stared at when i walk pass people on the street. I dont feel confident abt my height cos i think am toooo tall.I hav this Fiance who's a bit taller than i am but one can't tell. Do u guyz think we can hook up get married.?,cos am scared our kids r gonna be much taller than us..i dnt want that..i need some advice..

At 4:16 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i'm the tallest kid in my school and i'm only in 5 grade! i'm 5'6 and the second tallest kid is only 5'1. people make fun of me becuase of my great hieght, like " are you on steriods" or " how the weather up there" there's a girl in my class i like, but she's only 4'8. how much taller will i get?

At 3:18 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

im in grade 8(male)and im 6'1 tallest in my middle school. 4:16 being tall is good where im from, its the short kids who get made fun of for their size. You likely just grew fast if you are nearing the same size as ur parents you probably wont grow that much more. Hope that helps :)

At 7:44 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd just like to say I'm 13 years old, 6'2 and have size 9 feet. (Shopping for cool shoes is a nightmare!) It really annoys me when people gasp when I tell them my shoe size. I usually reply, "But, I would look stupid with tiny feet being my height!". It's hard to be polite to people like that.

p.s. for anyone my age, a great place to shop for big shoes is!

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