Review: Comments

Harry Hutton (the kind of man who, one day, with sufficient hormonal assistance, I hope to grow up to be) no longer allows comments on his blog. I’ve nicked the subject of this review from Hungbunny, which is artistically criminal, but that’s how the internet works: a big chamber of bollocks, floating around in the ether, rolling and bumping into each other and creating long chains of bollocks. Strange to think that, in the event of nuclear holocaust and the violent death of the human race, our bullshit will live on, circling cyberspace, waiting for the next intelligent species to develop the technology to re-access Hotmail.

This is not the point though. The point is: it’s quite impressive, isn’t it, to demand that no one comments on your blog. Very Marlene Dietrich. I hardly ever commented on Harry Hutton's blog anyway, because everyone there was always either exchanging facts about South American politics or talking about sleeping with underage prostitutes in Bangkok. I'm shamefully uninformed about one of these topics, and the other one makes me feel slightly nauseous, but you have to guess which is which.

I like getting comments, even the one from Rob ages ago about frigging muffs or something. My love of comments remained unshaken even when Hungbunny had a fit of paranoia a few weeks ago and accused me of deleting his comments. I think there should be a comments function on everything, including novels and strangers on the bus. You could write on people’s foreheads what you thought of them, and it wouldn’t even be hurtful because they wouldn’t be able to read it.

Comments: Maybe Harry Hutton is playing hard to get. 7 out of 10.


At 4:35 pm, Anonymous Philip said...

Here's a comment for free. And you don't even have to pay it any attention, because it doesn't say anything. Slender, elegant, postmodern as you could wish and it counts as a nice fat 1 in your comments box.

At 5:18 pm, Blogger Mr K said...

Eep, two reviews a day. Its hard to keep up!

I love comments too, although get rather less, not being world famous as you are after being in the guardian guide (which is read by practically everyone on the planet).

There should definitely be a comments button for everything, although it might make celebrities lives quite tiresome, as they'd soon get a blacklog of comments attatcheed to them, until they covered their entire bodies, and they became a walking, breathing comment.

At 5:35 pm, Blogger hungbunny said...

I steal most of my ideas from Natasha Kaplinsky.

Another comment of mine disappeared from here a few days ago but I held my tongue - it's a shame because it was filled with infinite wisdom and a fantastic nipple joke which I've now forgotten.

At 11:00 pm, Anonymous vague said...

I, too, adore comments. I always wrote nasty comments in people's files when I worked at the bank. It slightly dulled the horrific pain of being there.

Hutton seems to have put the comments back for now, though with Ball Bag monitoring. I think he just does this every now and again to force people to question their self worth, the meanie.

At 1:00 pm, Blogger john b said...

I got accused the other day of being "the only blogger who trolls their own comments section", which made me happy.

At 11:53 pm, Blogger HA HA HA said...

john b - jeez. i awys figored evaryboddy did taht.

At 10:27 am, Blogger UnderCrackers said...

Comments rule.

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