Review: Italian politics

What with democracy dying a slow death, and the west exporting it to increasingly bizarre places to show it a good time (very much like the Make A Wish Foundation, by whose grace, in the past, attractive 10-year-old leukemia victims would get to meet Michael Jackson), we might as well have some fun with it while it’s still here. Shake it around and make it look as if it’s waving hello; write FUCK OFF on its forehead and wee in its shoes. This is the thinking behind Italian politics.

It’s best to view Silvio Berlusconi’s entire political career as a series of practical jokes. He’s turned the Italian media into a nationwide Forza Italia fan club with added nudity; he’s shrugged off the small matter of a few Swiss bank accounts; he’s had so much plastic surgery that his face is in a permanent wince.

Now he’s refusing to resign and reform his government, despite the collapse of his coalition. Instead, he wants a confidence vote. “Don’t look at the voters, look into my eyes…” The man is a genius. And I bet he’ll be so grateful to his parliamentary supporters that he’ll give them a nice gift in a lovely brown envelope.

Italian politics: Gets better when you realise it’s supposed to be funny. 7 out of 10.


At 12:32 pm, Anonymous Richard H said...


At 1:16 pm, Anonymous Rob said...

Best review EVAR eskimo. He is a terrible cunt though Berlusconi isn't he? Italian politics is entertaining though. The whole government can (and does) disappear and no one seems to care. If only, huh?

At 1:59 pm, Anonymous Rrrrrachel said...

It must be hard governing a country where the main centre of power is the home of a cult leader entrenched in doctrine so old its incomprehensibility in shrouded in reverent mystery. At least Berlusconi isn't trying to induce an AIDS pandemic...

PS Eski - you're very famous now. I want to be a celebrity hanger-on and expect you to ply me with champagne, shag me, and allow me to sell my story to the Mirror.

At 2:48 pm, Anonymous Richard H said...

Now he has agreed to resign. I hope that's the punchline.

At 4:23 pm, Anonymous Donna said...

ooh you're even getting all topical now

don't think i didn't notice you flouted our expectations today with such a quick succession of entries... clever. One might say: cunning. Or even: sneaky.

speaking of politics, check out this cool website

ps don't forget what i told you yesterday. about the stick.

At 5:18 pm, Anonymous eskimo said...

ooh, i looked at that. it's some kind of lib dem conspiracy to make everyone vote for them with their evil, reasonable opinions and their dubious bandwagon-jumping on fashionable modern issues like civil liberties and pensions.

At 7:35 pm, Anonymous chunky_munky said...

Berlosconi went wrong by becoming more famous than Italy's extraordinary number of governments.

But, damn, his plastic surgery was good.

At 6:11 am, Blogger HA HA HA said...

hmmm. teh capital-l libartarians useta have a web questinare liek taht. if tehese guys are borowign gimicks from those guys they must be desperate.

anyway i took this quiz an it tlod me i otta voate for the 'uk indapandence praty' whatevar that is. so clerly its not wieghted to badly.

btw that 'series of practical jokes' line is classic. i can see why youd trust anybody who wants to merge ur govarmant whit his.

At 10:26 am, Blogger Hated thrice said...

My favourite thing about the Berlusconi confidence trickery is that one of his leading opponents happens to be his wife. The whole plastic-fantastic saga is starting to sound like a Virgil poem sans the turgid pentameter. Pleasantly surprised to see that no one has had a pop at our Tony. At least he only resorts to YSL’s Touché Eclat for his cover-ups.

And Eskimo, will you please write a ditty on Oona, King of the Hill, v Gorgeous George at the York Hall in Bethnal.

At 1:08 pm, Anonymous This Space for Rent said...

Make-a-wish foundation pimped my ride. In return, I need to die of leukemia when I was eight. So I'm off to build my time machine.

At 5:54 pm, Anonymous Greg said...

Reminds me of this:!1pLEsLeXsmDHQyR6FBFdPsuA!162.entry

It's a beauty. And has a special section for exactly what you describe! ;-)



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