Wednesday

Review: Complaining

People like to say that Britain owed its imperial greatness to the stiff upper lip. Bollocks. The only thing we have over the rest of the world is our ability to complain at great length without lifting a finger to change anything. The eagle hath the gift of flight, the penguins the boon of waddling, and we have complaining.

Shrug off your resignation; cast aside your equanimity. Don’t be put off by charlatans who tell you that complaining is a luxury denied to people with actual problems. They’re probably right, but that doesn’t concern us right now. We’re talking about joyously petty, meaningless bitching on topics ranging from the incompetence of your hairdresser to the incompetence of your MP.

Real tragedy is a select club, but complaining is a broad church. You’ll emerge from your hours of whining with sparkling eyes, your spirit washed clean by bile. God love the enthusiastic complainers: they are the true guardians of all that is good and righteous in the world.

Complaining: If it’s that bad then it’s not that bad. 7 out of 10.

5 Comments:

At 6:04 PM, Anonymous Andrew said...

God love the enthusiastic complainers: they are the true guardians of all that is good and righteous in the world.You are turning into Wyndham Lewis, aren't you?.

(incidentally, why does this site insist on trendily lower-caseifying my name? It has a cpaital letter at the start, and I want it there. Without the capital there is nothing to distinguish what is noun and what is verb, suggesting that my name is Andrew Said)

 
At 6:07 PM, Anonymous Andrew Said said...

Bah.

It's also missed out the space between quote and comment.

Bah.

 
At 8:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You can't end a line with an HTML tag. This is a flaw in Blogspot's code.

To work around it, put the closing tag for the italics (</i>) to the left the full stop, like so:

<i>...righteous in the world</i>....and it'll work as it ought to.

And don't worry about the lower case thing on the composition page; that's not permanent.

 
At 4:39 AM, Blogger Eskimo said...

well, i hope that cleared things up for you, andrew.

 
At 3:23 PM, Anonymous Andrew said...

It certainly did.

 

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