Review: Missing people

AL Kennedy speaks! "It was strange the times you missed people most: just after they'd left, and just before you saw them again."

Well, I'm probably paraphrasing. But I do my best. Other times you miss people are: after you read their blog, when you see their name written down, when you eat something you once ate with them, and so on. God, the human brain is useless and defective. If only it were more like a machine.

Sometimes I miss the most unlikely people. On holiday somewhere, or walking down a street at night dodging the muggers and rapists (the urban version of gazelles versus lions), I'll suddenly think of someone I got drunk with back in, ooh, the late 90s. Or someone I barely know. But who, really, am I most likely to miss? The people I should miss the most are the people I'm most likely to see again.

The vast majority of the people you meet in your life you'll only meet once, or a few times. Even if you meet them every day in the kitchen making breakfast and in front of the TV every night, there's no guarantee you won't eventually lose touch. Best to get used to this missing thing. Maybe even learn to enjoy it.

Which reminds me: I don't like it when reviewers call something "unmissable". I don't need that kind of unnecessary pressure, life is hard enough as it is. The concept of unmissableness is one of the reasons I've never seen Pulp Fiction. Yeah, and I don't care either.

Missing people: Sometimes terrible, sometimes pleasantly bittersweet. 5 out of 10.


At 2:36 pm, Blogger hungbunny said...

Machines are useless and defective too, well my Vespa is anyway.

But missing people can be easily rectified: simply adjust the sights on your rifle.

At 3:52 pm, Anonymous eskimo said...

lower the tone, why don't you. i thought all this nostalgia was sort of endearing, but maybe i took a wrong turn at Cute and became Pathetic.

At 5:28 pm, Anonymous Ed Lake said...

Somehow detouring through Prolific. Novel going well?

Had a thought, actually, about the extra pig. It always struck me that it would be really funny to find in one of those big, significantly structured novels in which each chapter is based on a station of the Cross or somesuch that there was an accidental repetition. As if, in The Name of the Rose, Umberto Eco had botched the liturgical calendar and done Complin three times in a day. I would find that funny! You should do that.


At 7:11 pm, Blogger hungbunny said...

Sorry Eskimo, I'm a tone-lowerer by nature. Your post wasn't in the least pathetic, but my online persona won't allow me to be sympathetic. (Secretly I am, though.)

At 9:58 pm, Blogger cordy said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 10:00 pm, Blogger cordy said...

Missing people is okay, it's only when you start stalking them that it becomes pathetic.

At 4:37 am, Blogger Philip said...

Missing Persons are a lot more fun than missing people. There's always the possibility they've been dismembered and left in a lay-by or several.

At 12:40 pm, Anonymous eskimo said...

hungbunny: i know you're full of the milk of human kindness really, and probably most other bloggers are too, but for some reason we feel obliged to impersonate sardonic, bitter misanthropes online. why is this? damn the interweb!

At 4:30 pm, Blogger hungbunny said...

I see it as a kind of catharsis. Heh, I said "arse" (I'll get my coat).

At 5:05 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I miss you.

O x

At 10:55 pm, Blogger Philip said...

A curmudgeon's reputation for malevolence is undeserved. They're neither warped nor evil at heart. They don't hate mankind, just mankind's absurdities. They're just as sensitive and soft-hearted as the next guy, but they hide their vulnerability beneath a crust of misanthropy.

Bollocks from

i know you're full of the milk of human kindness really, and probably most other bloggers are too

Bollocks from

At 9:32 pm, Anonymous eskimo said...

awww... cheers mate

At 1:31 am, Anonymous Richard H said...

Do you miss the Pope?

I don't.

Perhaps he might be an exception to your rule of not reviewing people.

At 12:21 pm, Blogger ruth said...

i had a really wierd two misses yesterday. one: i missed the rosemary in bloom outside my door because i saw a picture of it on another's blog, and two: i missed a 'postcard from provence' the day my husband didn't have time to put his painting a day up on the web, even though it was on the kitchen table infront of me....
(if you want to see it it's yummy and it's up now on
great blog, by the way, and glad i've found you.

At 3:44 pm, Blogger Hated thrice said...

I feel let down during a moment of clarity. The problem is that ever since being dropped on my head as a child I have been dismissive of ruminations beginning with a quote. This Q practice does not make me think: “Wow, what a well read person. She/he must have something interesting to say.” But “Why should I carry on reading someone who doubts their own words so much that they need an intellectual crutch." It's a shame that AL Kennedy had to be the missing link because everythingreviewed has enough verve cliquot to shatter any Monday’s sobriety. Also a brief encounter with a missing person showed that Eskimos eat enough essential oils to be very clever indeed.
Now's your fourth chance to hate me.

At 5:12 pm, Blogger Fizzy good said...

The people I tend to miss most are the ones who are there at the time, but are so changed as to be unrecognisable as the person I once loved and/or enjoyed the company of.

I wasn't actually entirely sure whether or not the Pope was dead until I googled him yesterday...

At 10:45 am, Anonymous eskimo said...

listen, hated: you're allowed to think i'm crap - surely that's the whole joy of reading a blog? unfiltered by editors or good taste, i can let my crapness flow forth. and you can have that pleasant hate-y feeling that you get when you hate someone you've never met. rewards all round.

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