Saturday

Film review: La Nina Santa

There's something in the air in the rundown hotel where Amalia lives with her mother. Oh look: ear, nose and throat specialist Dr Jano has turned up for a conference. In an act of laudably understated perversion, he presses his crotch against Amalia's bum in a crowd as they watch a man playing a theremin. Small consequences ensue.

Yes, it's arthouse - but with crotch shots! Slow going. Hold on till the end, when there's a lesbian snog.

La Nina Santa: Extremely softcore Argentinian porn. Up the Catholics! 6 out of 10.